When I was in college, I spent my time studying...and enjoying great sex. Being of Italian descent, there are three things I live for, family, sex and food in that specific order. Sex to me has always been a great stress reducer. It's fun plus it burns calories. I enjoyed making love like most women love shopping. Oral sex was one of my favorite past times.
When I met my husband 20 years ago I thought, "Great! Now I can have sex anytime I want." Getting married meant spending evenings making love to your partner for life, right? Wrong. Within a couple of years, sex began to peter (!) out. We tried counseling, reading books, watching videos. My husband would roll over and go to sleep. He had no interest in sex, orally, anally, or traditional. I have now found myself stuck in a celibate marriage.
For three years, I have been bone dry. Which is really ironic considering all the great sex I had BEFORE marriage. To make matters worse, no sex meant I substituted food for passion. I am now 200 pounds and planning to get Lap Band surgery. I figure first I'll lose the weight, then I'll lose the fagela. Problem solved.
Actually, I'm not 100 percent sure that my husband is homosexual. All of the porn he indulges in is definitely for heterosexual males. Then again, he was an alter boy. Who knows? Who gives a shit?
Anyway, what I find strange is that there is absolutely NOTHING on women who are in a forced celibate marriage, like me. That's why I started this blog. I mean, there's lots of material talking about all these men who are deprived of sex on a regular basis. Well, I'd like to know where the hell they are! Apparently, there are tons of articles written on women who want to be celibate within their marriage. There are sex therapists spending hours lecturing women on how important it is to satisfy their husbands. But what if it's the other way around? What if your husband is perfectly satisfied living in a platonic relationship? I mean, my husband's favorite partner has been rosy palms for years.
The sad thing is that I have become a fat asexual person, which disgusts me. In college my boyfriend used to say, "My girl friend...she bumps into walls and cums!" I can't believe I have been reduced to the person I've become. I used to be passionate and enjoy life. Now I spend my time thinking about the next ice cream bar I'm going to eat. I can't believe that of all the men I could have ended up with, I've ended up with a sexless fagela for a husband.
When I met my husband 20 years ago I thought, "Great! Now I can have sex anytime I want." Getting married meant spending evenings making love to your partner for life, right? Wrong. Within a couple of years, sex began to peter (!) out. We tried counseling, reading books, watching videos. My husband would roll over and go to sleep. He had no interest in sex, orally, anally, or traditional. I have now found myself stuck in a celibate marriage.
For three years, I have been bone dry. Which is really ironic considering all the great sex I had BEFORE marriage. To make matters worse, no sex meant I substituted food for passion. I am now 200 pounds and planning to get Lap Band surgery. I figure first I'll lose the weight, then I'll lose the fagela. Problem solved.
Actually, I'm not 100 percent sure that my husband is homosexual. All of the porn he indulges in is definitely for heterosexual males. Then again, he was an alter boy. Who knows? Who gives a shit?
Anyway, what I find strange is that there is absolutely NOTHING on women who are in a forced celibate marriage, like me. That's why I started this blog. I mean, there's lots of material talking about all these men who are deprived of sex on a regular basis. Well, I'd like to know where the hell they are! Apparently, there are tons of articles written on women who want to be celibate within their marriage. There are sex therapists spending hours lecturing women on how important it is to satisfy their husbands. But what if it's the other way around? What if your husband is perfectly satisfied living in a platonic relationship? I mean, my husband's favorite partner has been rosy palms for years.
The sad thing is that I have become a fat asexual person, which disgusts me. In college my boyfriend used to say, "My girl friend...she bumps into walls and cums!" I can't believe I have been reduced to the person I've become. I used to be passionate and enjoy life. Now I spend my time thinking about the next ice cream bar I'm going to eat. I can't believe that of all the men I could have ended up with, I've ended up with a sexless fagela for a husband.
I feel like a weirdo. Why can't I get over it? He is. He has never been very sexual but last fall he told me he is no longer able to get aroused and he's okay with that. I've done little more than cry and eat since. Now I'm prediabetic. Just can't win.
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ReplyDeleteI am in the same boat and I have no resources or groups available to me. Where are these other women at?
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